Positives of Single-hood…

Posted by on Sep 15, 2019 in Singles Therapy

Positives of Single-hood…

Being “ Single” is often seen as something negative, in my last blog I described some of the negative factors affecting Singles. To be fair I felt that I had to also describe some of the positive aspects of this population.  The rate of Singles continues to grow in the US, there is something to be said about. Although, many individuals are not purposely choosing to be “Single”, a large percentage of the population is.  Being single shouldn’t be the end of anyone’s world, but many individuals see it as “ the worst thing ever”.  The idea of the lonely single old lady with cats comes to mind when some think of being single.  It truly is a myth, because many of the singles that I come into contact with, are quite happy with their status. 

There is a level of stress that comes along with every relationship, even the best ones. When one is in a relationship it is no longer about self, you will have to compromise and do for others whether you want too or not.  One has to deal with the ups and downs of relationships, the expectations, as well as all of the idiosyncrasies of your partner. This is the level where I believe being Single can be most rewarding.  Singles do not have to deal or cope with any of these.  They don’t have to worry about hurting anyone’s feelings, or getting their feelings hurt. They don’t have to compromise, they are free to come and go as they please. They do not have to “check in/out “ with anyone, they are free to navigate the world on their own. There is something very fascinating about that notion or concept. 

Some of my single clients that are dating, are finding that not only is dating harder than they expected, but the notion of having to sacrifice time, to go out on dates seems like a chore to most of them  Dating in itself can be very challenging for those who have been single for a while.  Some of these individuals would rather just stay home and enjoy mindless television, than go out on another date. Their expectations are usually shattered within the first few dates, they are often left feeling both disappointed and hopeless. However, the benefit of being in the right relationship, is usually worth it. But unfortunately, to find the right relationship, one will  have to go out on some unrewarding dates, before the perfect match is made.

Some other benefits of being single are managing your lifestyle on your own.  Once again it’s freeing to do whatever you want, whenever you want, without anyone else’s input. Most Singles love their “freedom”.  Singles are taking over the world by storm, especially single women.  One particular client stands out, she mentioned during a session that she has about eight to ten women in her friend group, they are all professional women raging in ages from early to late thirties and they all refuse to settle. They enjoy traveling, going out to eat in groups and “living life their way”.  They are all open to dating, but are not willing to be with a partner, just because they have too.  It’s very empowering to hear women speak in this manner, because I often hear the opposite dialogue to that.

Although, being single should not be the end all, I often listen to individuals who feel that it is the worst thing that could ever happen to them.  This can make their lives rather sad and difficult.  No one should ever be dependent on anyone else for their happiness, that should most definitely come from within. And if it isn’t coming from within, then I would think that something is wrong on the inside.  Being in a healthy relationship is great, but know that all relationships take work.  There is no easy way around that.  My hat goes off to all the Singles out there, who are not just existing, but living life to the fullest, and enjoying every moment. Kudos to you.