Ladies First

Posted by on Oct 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

Ladies First

As the leader of a women’s empowerment group, I try to engage my clients by having them realize, that there has to come a time when they will have to take control of their lives, and put themselves first.  With the increasing demands from our jobs and family responsibilities many of my clients and myself included tend to take a back sit, while taking care of everyone else’s needs.  With this in mind, health issues may get neglected, and other aspects of an overall well being.  As my clients verbalize their concerns, and daily challenges, my usual response to them is ” what good will you be to any one, if you are not healthy yourself”.   As women we often take a back seat when it comes to ourselves, including our health, our interest, and our priorities, while taking care and catering to others first, and tending to our needs later.   Here are a few common aspects that some may have difficulties with.


Set Boundaries:

Setting boundaries can be a very difficult thing to do, especially if you are the type of individual who never says no, have difficulty saying no, or often feel that others are taking advantage of you.  Setting boundaries helps one to have clear and precise limits, that is expressed to others in a non threatening, and straight forward manner.   With that said,  one has to be deliberate into not falling back into old patterns of behavior, but instead, has to keep their word once it has been verbalized to others.  Others will not take you seriously if you falter, once you have expressed your desires.  You must stick to your guns on this one.  Setting boundaries provides one with a line that should not be crossed, because it was defined by you. It is a way for you to take control of yourself in various situations, but also a clearly defined border for others to not cross.   Stand by your word, and voice your expectations clearly to others.


Pay Attention to Yourself:

In putting yourself first, being in tune with your body is very important and relevant.  Pay attention to your body, mind and soul.  If your body tells you that you need to take it easy, then by all means please do so.  Most ailments do not occur overnight, but there are usually some signs that something may be wrong, or is going wrong, way before the actual ailment occurs.  Pay attention to those cues and intuition that you may have.  As women we have being gifted with naturally good instincts and intuition, we need to continue to trust them. Be good to yourself and take care of your body.  If you have been putting off exercising and eating healthier, this may be a good time to start working on both.   Eating healthier and exercising can both make a big impact, not only on how you look, but also how you feel about yourself. We know that if we look good, we  usually also tend to feel good as well.  Don’t ignore those very important cues that you sense.


Make Time to Smell the Roses:

Do something that you enjoy doing. I find that the busier I get, the less time I have for the simple things that once brought me joy.   We may tend to get so wrapped up in our day to day activities, that we forget to make time for the little things in life, that can bring us great comfort and joy.   Make it a point to treat yourself well, do things that bring you joy and excitement. There may be projects that you have put off, because you simply have no time, this may be a good time to pick up these projects again. Take an extra moment to notice things that you may not have noticed in the past, or may have just overlooked.  Slow down and enjoy the moment.  This may also be a good time to start something new, just for you.



Since most of us have many different daily obligations, with un-numerable stressors, coming from all directions.  You will have to find a way to handle stress effectively.  Find an activity that you enjoy and practice it.  Some individuals utilize the gym as a stress buster, or going for a long walk in the park, or cooking.  Whatever feels natural to you, can be the source to help relieve common stressors.  It can also be a time to enjoy some alone time.  Whether this means shutting the bathroom door for twenty minutes and taking that well deserved bath, or enjoying a savory cup of tea/coffee with you favorite songs blasting in the background is all up to you, music can be a great stress buster.  Getting something as simple as a manicure or pedicure can help alleviate stress.  Getting pampered is always a nice thing to do for one’s self.  Whatever you choose to so.  Just do something for you.


Celebrate You:

How many times do we push our accomplishments aside and praise the other person instead.   Humility is admirable, but basking in the glory of your achievements are healthy and necessary.   Most of us tend to be quite nonchalant about our victories, whether big or small.  Instead of enjoying the praise and acknowledgments that should come with accomplishing a goal, whatever it may be.  Whether that goal was losing ten pounds, or attaining an academic dream, passing an exam,  you should always celebrate.  Give yourself a high five, a pat on the back,  a victory dance, a shout out, remember you have earned it, and kudos to you. Get into the habit of celebrating, even the little things.


Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff:

In putting yourself first, one of the most important things to remember is not sweating the small stuff, and remembering that it really is only small stuff.  Most things are not worth the enormous amount of energy that we exude.  If we were to calculate the things in out past that we wasted time on, because we just couldn’t let it go, we will see how unimportant and unworthy they really were, plus the wasted time and energy we contributed to it.  I believe that as we get older and wiser, we realize that there are just some things that are not worth the stress and aggravation over.  We tend to prioritize what’s important and leave the other stuff just where they are.  Nothing should be worth losing your cool over, causing you to say, think and regret in the future.  There is an old saying that states ” pick your battles wisely”. Every obstacle or tension that we face is not worth the type of over the top energy that is usually put into it.  Let’s save that type of energy for the really important issues.  Life can be best enjoyed, if we remember to not sweat the small stuff.


Smile More:

Smiling is one of the littlest things that we can do, that can change our outcome and perspectives on so many different levels.  Smiling has several benefits including making us appear younger, attractive, and more successful. Smiling also means that you are in a better mood, it is rather difficult to smile if you are feeling down.  Studies indicates that smiling lowers the blood pressure, boosts our immune system, and reduces stress, which are all great health benefits.  Smiling is said to be a natural drug, as it releases endorphins, natural pain killers and Serotonin, all of which together makes us feel good.  Smiling can be contagious and denotes a friendlier appearance. Sometimes life can beat up on us so much, that we tell ourselves that there is nothing to smile about.   But If we were to look deeper within, we will notice that there is something that we can smile about.  Plus, who doesn’t want to look more attractive and younger.  Put that smile on your face, you are so worth it.


As women we have to believe that we can maintain a well balanced life.  You have to take the time to put yourself first.  Not only by taking care of your precious body, but also your mind and soul as well.  Putting yourself first does not mean that you should neglect your family and responsibilities, instead it means taking control of your life, and doing things that will make you and overall better person. You have to believe that you are beautiful, and have much to offer.  Until you believe in yourself, no one else will. So do it for you.  I hope that some of these tips and ideas resonates with you, to help you start thinking about yourself, and making time to celebrate beautiful you.  Because, it really is all about, YOU.