Groundhog Day Everyday…

Posted by on Apr 27, 2021 in Singles Therapy

Groundhog Day Everyday…

We all know how devastating the pandemic has been and actually continues to be on our lives. As the world begins to open up slowly, the light can finally be seen at the end of the tunnel. Now image a group of individuals having to quarantine alone, which means eat, drink, sleep, work, and live alone. Social distancing has wrecked havoc on the lives of Singles everywhere, and those who aren’t single may not be able to quite understand. Family and friends are the highlights of a Single’s person life. It’s all they have really, getting together with “girlfriends” after work or on the weekend is a regular habit that many Singles look forward too. Not being able to mingle for the last year, has caused a level of distress on this population like no other. As data continues to come in regarding the effects, that the pandemic has had on different groups, this population will also be updated and included.

Working from home has been a convenience for many. Not having to commute to the office and being able to work from the comfort of one’s own home, can be seen as a blessing. But when your four walks becomes so familiar, that although you love your space, you also begin to resent it at the same time. Your home is your office, gym, restaurant, spa, movie theater, you get the picture. One becomes tired of their familiar surrounding, especially when one is alone. Singles were not going out, not socializing, not getting occasional hugs from friends during meet ups. Something that this group looks forward too. Human affection is both vital and necessary for one’s overall well being. Facetime, zoom calls and the such were great ways to stay in touch, but never the same as the real thing.

The love/hate relationship that they felt with their spaces were both a safe haven, as they didn’t
have to worry about anyone bring home the virus, but at the same time it was a torture
chamber, as it created the same daily reminder that they were alone everyday. It was ground
hog day everyday for them. What’s ironic is that whilst some of my Couples were fighting, bickering and longing for alone time from their partners, my Single clients were doing and wishing for the opposite. Most were wishing that they didn’t have to quarantine all by their lonesome. I’m not writing this to say that all Singles feel this way, but most would have rather had someone to cuddle with and company during the quarantine.

This pandemic has triggered the desire to be with someone and share one’s life than ever before. Singles have always flooded the dating apps, but even the ones that were against them are now swiping left or right. It’s has definitely sparked a new desire to find love. The realization that life is way too short and precious to be spent alone, has gotten this population’s attention. Their desire for a mate has increased tremendously from previous years. No one wants to be “all by myself”, all the time, especially when they find themselves in vulnerable situations and circumstances. “It sucks” as reported by one of my clients. It’s not that I cannot do things by myself, I just don’t want to anymore. It sucks going to dinner, going on vacation, buying a new car, going to important medical appointments, exe-cetera, exe-cetera, it just sucks. This pandemic has made her realize that she does not want to do all of these things by herself anymore. Her newfound desire is to share her life with someone special, and the search begins.

Many look down on Singles, as if they are an outcast, especially single women. These
men and women are not having an easy time trying to find that special someone. When you speak to your single friends especially those that you know are trying, don’t give them any added
stress. They are very aware that their biological clock is ticking, if they want to have children.
They know that they are getting older, they are already thinking “what’s wrong with me”, they
don’t need your “ why are your standards so high” and “why can’t you find someone already”,
or your friendly reminders, or your innocent remarks and comments about their Singles status.
They are very much aware of all of those factors. Instead you can be kind to them and show a
little empathy for them, because it’s not as easy as you think to find a life partner. Do give your
single friends, family members and love ones a break. Life is hard for them too.