Changing it up……..

Posted by on Oct 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

Changing it up……..

I always seem to be talking about change with my clients.  As a therapist, change is a necessary element used to measure growth in a therapeutic setting.   I work on getting clients to change their behaviors, attitudes, mind sets, and other areas of their life, that they deem important to reach their goals.  But change does not come without a cost, toll, and lots of hard work.  In order for anyone to move forward, or move ahead in life, some type of change has to take place.  The decision to make a positive change in one’s life is a big step, because often times it will not only affect that individual, but also those around them.  The anticipation of the end results of change, may actually motivate some individuals to stay focus.  With some of my clients however, another individual may also be their motivating factor for change.  They would often say, my children or my family is the reason that I am here.  The feeling of joy, proud moments, sense of accomplishments, and the satisfaction that can come along with positive changes, will often keep the individual motivated enough, to finish the course even amongst the setbacks.  In other words, it’s the reward that one receives at the end, that often times will keep them going.  That reward could be a healthier lifestyle with weight loss,  better job satisfaction after pursuing a degree or certificate, better relationships with a spouse or other family members, and so on.  Spring is a good time to start something new, or just pick up where one has left off.  Wherever you are on your journey of change, here are a few things to think about.

 

Change can only take place, when it comes from within:

No one can force another person to change.  If we think we can change others, we will soon realize that this does not work.  Change starts with that individual, and that individual only.  If one feels that change is desired in someone else, it may be time to take a long, hard look at yourself.  You have to start with yourself, and change yourself first, in order to see the difference, you would like to see in others.  This may simply mean that you may have to stop doing a particular type of behavior, in order to get the other person to react differently.  You have to be the change that you want to see in others.  Remember, you do not have control over others, only yourself.  It will be necessary to take a good, honest look at yourself first, and decide if change is what you want, what you need, or if it is necessary at this time.  In order to change any situation that you find yourself in, you will first have to examine yourself throughly.  Changing any aspects of one’s self, is a personal decision that one can only make on their own.  With that said, change can only begin to take place when one makes the decision to do so, with a made up mindset, that comes from deep within.

 

Change may not be easy:

Change will not come without some discomfort.  The saying ” no pain, no gain” is right on.  Any decision that one makes in life, that will cause a dramatic shift, will not be easy.  There will be difficult moments, and trying times.  If you are set on changing something in your life for the better, then you have to decide what price you are willing to pay.  The road blocks, setbacks, doubts and fear, will all be there to test you on your journey.  I am a sole believer in staying  focus, and allowing nothing and no one stand in the way of you reaching your goals.  Even if this means stopping, taking a break or pause, and restarting all over again.  You may have to go over, under or around circumstances and situations to reach your goal.  All that matters, is you getting through it, by any means necessary.  Others have done it and so can you, but you will have to stay focus.

 

Change will take time:

Think about who you are and the amount of time it has taken you, to get where you are right now.  Who you are now did not just happen over night, but in fact it is due to many years of doing things the same way, which became a habit.  Now image trying to change a habit in just a few days.  It will not work.   It will take time to relearn some new things, to combat old habits.  This can also be the time where some individuals may begin to lose hope, have doubts, and thoughts of giving up may seep in.  Since change will take time, you may have to learn patience, especially if you are not seeing your results as quickly as you would like.  For the individual who wants to change something in their life, it will take disciple, commitment and hard work.  For those who have been there, you already know what that entails.  As mentioned earlier the end results may be what will keep you focus and moving.  Although, all you may want to do at this time, is just give up.

 

Fear of the unknown:

If you want to change something in your life, you must start doing things differently.  If it’s obvious that the way you are doing things now, are no longer working, then in order to get results you will have to take the necessary steps to change a few things.  Change can be scary because of the unknown.  This factor can cause some to quit early on in the journey.  The thought of trying to change something and not knowing exactly what the end result will be, can be daunting, which can be a stumbling block for some.  The unknown can be scary because it’s not our norm, it’s not what we are accustomed too, it’s simple just unknown territory, uncharted waters, and quite uncomfortable.  The “what if’s”, type of thoughts may also come up during this period of anxiety.   We tend to worry about things that we have no control over, and that aids in keeping us stuck in the same unworkable, but yet familiar positions.

Whereas change may come easier for some. It nonetheless can be quite difficult and challenging for others.  The decision to give up during the course, can be very easy, especially if we allow fear to take over.  Therefore, giving up is an easy way out.  Change cannot take place if one continues to do things the same, something will have to give, to get to the next level.   Do your research, plan accordingly and get yourself ready to begin your journey.   Do keep a positive mind set, do seek help if and when necessary, do keep moving in the right direction, and do your best at all times.  These “do’s” may not be easy, but with the right attitude, mind set, and motivation it can be done.  Your dreams, goals and aspirations are too important to give up now.  As you begin to move forward, keep these sayings in mind, “Rome was not built in a day” and “nothing worth having ever comes easy”.   Keep moving forward and remember giving up is NEVER an option.