Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

Posted by on Jun 18, 2018 in Couples Counseling

Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

If you haven’t read the book “ The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, you are missing out. This book is not new, as a matter of fact it’s been out for several years and has sold over 11 million copies worldwide, and it has saved countless relationships. This book can be a life changer for couples who are in trouble in their relationship. It’s a very simple concept , but it’s often missed by so many couples. If you and your spouse are not speaking each other’s love language, there will be trouble in the relationship. it’s as simple as that.

Communication or should I say miscommunication is one of the most popular issues that I frequently work on with couples. They usually think they are being understood by their partner, when they voice their opinion on something, but in most of the cases that I see, the message is usually not received in the context of what they had perceived it to be. Couples tend to assume that their partners know them well enough to be understood, but in retrospect unless something is explained extremely clearly, there will be parts of the message that will be miscommunicated or misinterpreted. According to Mr. Chapman, if you are not speaking your partner’s love language, your request will be unheard by your partner and will continue to be so, until you are both speaking in languages that each other understands. Simple huh? If it were, we wouldn’t be talking and writing about it. Since most couples do speak different languages, your partner’s language may be one that is not normal or familiar to you. It’s usually something that is outside of one’s comfort zone. That may make it even harder for the other party to be receptive to wanting to learn this new language and a new way of being.

Imagine yourself trying to learn a new language, think how hard, frustrating and difficult that would be for you, especially if it’s not by choice. Well, when you have committed yourself to another individual, learning new languages, plus many other things that you may or may not want to do is all part of the compromise. Imagine if you and your spouse were on the same page, how wonderful would that be for your relationship. You knew exactly what she/he needed and gave it willingly and vice-a-versa. It’s such a simple concept that it almost sounds ridiculous, but it’s usually always the little things in life that makes the biggest differences and it’s definitely one of the little things with this one.

Once you know what your spouse’s love language is, it’s then up to you to speak it, and if you do make the decision to speak it, you will see a huge difference in your relationship. I absolutely love this concept and believe that it does work if both parties are committed to making it work, no matter what. Once again this isn’t easy, but nothing that is worth having usually is. Learning a new language is never easy, but it can be done. If your relationship is worth saving and you are willing to try whatever it takes to make it work, then learning your partner’s love language and speaking it will not be a problem for you. Like everything else in life; it’s worth a shot, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Both parties need to read the book, take the test at the end, learn each other’s love languages and get to work.

What I really like about this author as well, is that he has also written a love language book for singles, so if you are single and find this book interesting, there is also a version for you as well. The book is really amazing, I promise you will enjoy reading it. If you are having a rough patch in your relationship at the moment, or have been for a very long time. It’s worth a read, but most importantly, you have to take action once it’s read. There are no miracle cures to fix any problem, both parties have to give it one hundred percent if it’s going to work. If you give it your all, you will never have regrets, even if it didn’t work out. Happy reading…